


How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

by Cinnas_muse



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Advertising Agent!Clint, Clint Bucky and Steve are Bros, How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days AU, I tried to make this movie less sexist by making it gay af, M/M, Magazine How-to writer! Pietro, Minor Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Wanda Darcy and Pietro are squad goals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-07-12 20:12:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7120891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnas_muse/pseuds/Cinnas_muse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pietro Maximoff is tired of being the How-To guy at Composure Magazine, the fastest growing Woman's magazine in the country. How he ended up in this pink sparkly nightmare he isn't sure but he might have just found his ticket out, writing one last huge 'How-To' about the dating mistakes everyone makes. He vows to start dating a guy and then push him away using the mistakes everyone makes, in 10 days. Enter Clint Barton, advertising agent extraordinaire. Clint wants to back the biggest deal of his life. But to do so he needs to prove to his boss that he can get someone to fall in love with him in 10 days. What happens when the two set their sights on each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I watched this movie the other day and had an urge to write some AU Hawksilver snark and eventual fluff so here it is...

If someone had told Pietro that he would’ve been working at a women’s magazine fresh out of college his 18 year old self probably would’ve punched them in the face. Yet, here he is, sitting in his tiny cubicle with Darcy leaning over his shoulder reading, what he hopes, is his ticket out of this pink sparkly nightmare he managed to get himself into. 

“‘And only then will the people of Tajikistan know true and lasting peace.’” Darcy said turning and sitting on his desk in front of him. “Pietro, this is incredible...But you know as well as I do it will never run in Composure magazine.” Pietro groans rubbing a hand over his face as he watches Darcy get up and go the her adjoined cubicle.

“Ugh, I busted my butt in grad school, and for what? To be Pietro Maximoff, ‘how to’ guy?” Pietro rolls his chair closer to Darcy “I swear, only the knowledge that I would look terrible bald is all that has kept me from pulling out my hair. If I have to write one more article about ‘How to use the best pick-up lines’ or ‘Do blondes like, really, have more fun?’ I am going to kill myself.” 

“That’s probably a little overdramatic Piet.” Darcy says giving him one of her raised eyebrow looks.

“I know, it’s just… I want to write about something that matters. Politics, the environment, foreign affairs, stuff I’m actually interested in.” Pietro runs a hand through his unruly curls, shaking his head slightly

“Keep busting your butt. You’ll get there.” Darcy said giving him a smile as she sits back in her desk chair. “Oh! hey , I’ve got something to cheer you up. You know that editor from Sports Illustrated that you’ve been shamelessly flirting with for what? A month now?” Pietro stands up and walks over in front of Darcy a huge smile on his face. “He dropped this off for you this morning.” Darcy waves a white envelope in front of him while he makes grabby hands. She relents after a minute handing it over.

“Yes!” Pietro says opening the envelope and glancing at the two tickets inside. “Oh boy, tomorrow night.”

“What’s happening tomorrow night?” Darcy asks leaning back in her chair.

“Only the most exhilarating and artistic display of athletic competition known to mankind.”

“The Ice Capades are in town?” 

“No, the NBA finals are in town!” Pietro says waving the shiny tickets in front of Darcy. “Come with me?” 

“Alright I’ll go,” Darcy says as she watches Pietro walk toward his cube. “But I’m not putting out Maximoff.” Pietro laughs at their inside joke as he gives Darcy a smirk.

“Two stale jumbo dogs and a couple of beers, you’ll be whistling a different tune there Lewis.” 

“No, we all know you’re type is a bit taller and a bit more male.” Darcy says with a laugh.

“True.” Pietro says as he sits back in his chair winking at Darcy. 

“Good morning Pietro, Darcy.” Their boss, Pepper Potts glides up to Pietro’s cube, leaning against the short wall. “Staff meeting in 1 hour, don’t forget.” Pietro nods as he watches Pepper run up the stairs in her heels. He’s worked here for 6 months now and he still can’t figure out how she does that without falling on her face. Pietro glances to his sister’s cube on his left and only then notices her absence.

“Hey Darc? Have you seen Wanda?”

“Haven’t seen her all morning, but she did text me saying Vis broke up with her so 10 to 1 she’s probably wallowing.” Darcy said watching Pietro’s face break into a grimace.

“Alright, guess it’s time for some big brother magic. You get the coffee, meet me on the corner in 20.” Pietro says as he grabs his coat already heading to the elevators.

“Wait!” Darcy says coming up beside him with a bag of stuff. “Take some samples.” 

“Samples, great idea.” He says as he presses the down button.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clint smirked at the number written across the side of his coffee cup as the barista behind the counter smiled at him. He nodded his head at her before he walked out slipping his sunglasses onto his face. As he walked toward the entrance to his building he noticed Natasha standing out front with a magazine in her hands.

“Ah, ‘Turn on tricks: How to make him hot.’ You know, Nat if you wanted to try some of those out I’m always available.” 

“Nice, Clint, think about that one long?” Nat said raising one perfectly arched eyebrow. “But alas, Maria and I have an appointment at Composure.” She holds up the magazine in her hands “The fastest growing Women’s magazine in the Country. And seeing how our clients run quite a few of our campaigns in their nationally-syndicated little girlie magazine it wouldn’t hurt to do a little reading.” Clint gives her a withering glance as he sees Maria slide up to Natasha’s side.

“Hello there Clinton.” 

“Good Morning, Maria.”

“Finally decided to show up for work?”

“Yes, I did”

“You ready?” Maria says toward Natasha as a car pulls up beside them.

“Yep.” Nat says as she heads toward the car. “Later, Barton.”

“Have a nice day, ladies.” Clint says as he checks his watch before running into the building behind him.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pietro knocked twice on the door in front of him and heard a rushed “be there in a minute!” before the door slid open revealing his sister. Wanda’s hair was a mess, clearly she hadn’t brushed it today, and she was still in her pajamas.

“Hi.” Wanda said as Pietro walked into her apartment setting his leather book bag on her side table.

“Good morning sunshine, get dressed.” Pietro said throwing Wanda the closest article of clothing he could find. “Staff meeting in 45 minutes, Let’s go.” 

“I’m going back to bed.” Wanda groaned as she flopped back onto her bed like a falling log. “ I don’t want to be awake today.”

“Okay, really? The sun’s out, you have a great job that you love, and a brother who brought you presents” Pietro says gently as he sits on the edge of Wanda’s bed throwing the red sweater from the bag at her head.

“Cashmere?” Wanda says as she sits up stroking the soft material.

“Put it on, it’s your favorite color and it will make you look killer.” Pietro says giving his sister a toothy grin.

“But I don’t want to see the world today.” Wanda groaned out as she layed back down the sweater covering her face.

“Come on, get up. I’m not going to let you lose your job...on top of everything else.” Pietro peeks under the sweater at Wanda.”Come here.” He says as she sits up leaning forward as Pietro wraps his arms around her shoulders.

“Oh, Pietro” Wanda cries quietly into the collar of his jacket.

“You guys had only been dating a week.” Pietro says pulling back and giving Wanda a slightly withering glance. “Sweetheart, come on.”

“I just thought he was different, you know? It was the best week of my life!” 

“Alright well come on, Darcy is waiting with coffee and then you can tell us all about it ok?”

“Fine.”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clint smiled at his other co-workers as he made his way to the office he shares with Bucky, he pats Steve on the head and ignores his squawk as he opens the door turning to look at Bucky, who is staring intently at his computer screen.

“What’s up, kitty cat?” He asks as he sets his coffee on his desk turning to take off his coat.

“What’s up, Daddy?” Bucky asks giving Clint a smirk as he looks up from his work.

“Big night?”

“Not Bad.” Bucky says tilting his head to the side a bit as he stands moving toward Clint.

“Orgy?” Clint asks elbowing Bucky playfully as Bucky just shakes his head laughing.

“Where were you man?”

“Not having an orgy.” Clint says as Steve bursts through the door almost knocking into the pair.

“Did you hear?” 

“Hear what? That my knickerbockers are in the championship series and Buckarooni here owes me 20 bucks?” Bucky sighs as he opens his wallet handing over a crisp bill.

“No, but true.” Steve says crossing his arms in front of himself. “You were right, Delauer Diamonds is looking for a new ad agency. Phil wants to move on it aggressively.” Clint’s smile broadens as he moves away from Bucky and Steve throwing his fist into the air.

“Yes! Oh this is a good day.” Clint says before turning back toward his friends. “Guys, did you know that diamonds are about as common as taxi’s on fifth avenue? The value is entirely sentimental, maintained by a supply, demand and advertising. Now, DeLauer dominates the world diamond market. Meaning if l represent them, I basically represent the entire industry.” 

“Do you wanna tell him or should I?” Bucky says looking over at Steve.

“Tell me what?”

“Phil gave it to Nat and Maria.” Steve says looking at Clint apologetically “Their already on it.”

“No way!”

“Yeah well, he’s kinda partial to hot leggy chicks for some reason…” Bucky says trailing off as he looks at Clint.

“And we’re you know, the sneakers and beer division.” Steve says giving Clint a shrug. “Precious gems aren’t exactly our forte, man.”

“I need to get to Phil before they sink this. Where is he?”

“On a plane back from Chicago, but don’t try it, he’s meeting them for drinks tonight at Mullin’s. I’d say it’s a pretty done deal.” Bucky says tapping Clint on the back slightly.

“You know what? This isn’t happening.” Clint says walking around and opening his laptop. “This was my tip. It’s going to be my pitch, my account, my campaign. They will not ace me out of this.” 

“Well then I suggest you clear your calendar tonight.” Bucky says giving him a look. “I think Nat said their reservation is for 9.” 

“I’ll be there.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Pietro had somehow managed to get Wanda out the door, dressed and looking somewhat presentable in 15 minutes flat. He had tried to get her mind off it by talking about anything else but she hadn’t really seemed in the mood. When he turned the corner and saw Darcy waving excitedly at them he pulled Wanda along faster eager to have Darcy fill the silence.

“Alright, one Iced Americano for the lovely Wanda, and one extremely sugary, heart attack of a coffee with a double shot for Pietro.” Darcy said handing over the coffee cups. “So, what happened?” Darcy directed to Wanda as they walked toward the door into their building

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” Wanda said as she pushed through the revolving door, balancing her coffee to pull out her badge.

“Okay.” “That’s Fine.” Pietro and Darcy said at the same time.

“Why does this always happen to me?” Wanda said as they walked past the security desk toward the elevators. “Things were going great for like, a week and a half, and then, all of a sudden, it’s over...I mean I thought I was being a pretty normal girlfriend, I called, I remembered what he was working on at work, brought him lunch.”

“Okay whoa slow down...you brought him lunch?” Pietro said placing his free hand on Wanda’s shoulder and turning her to face him slightly. “That’s like “We’ve been dating for 3 months” kinda behavior sis.”

“I just thought we had a connection, we didn’t need to wait that long to be serious.”

“Ok, when you said you called, like how many times are we talking?” Darcy said as she pressed the elevator button

“Okay it was a lot, I’ll admit. But I never left a message, and I blocked my number so he didn’t know it was me.”

“Oh yep, because men totally call their friends answering machines and hang up...right Pietro?” Darcy said as they got into the elevator

“Right.”

“It’s okay, I mean I know why he broke up with me.” Wanda said staring at the elevator doors as they slid shut. “I’m too fat.”

“You’re not fat!” Pietro and Darcy both yelled as they turned to Wanda. As the elevator opened to their floor Pietro walked backwards towards Pepper’s office for their meeting as he talked.

“You know, Wanda. Even if the most beautiful woman in the world acted like you did any normal guy would go running in the other direction. Hell, let’s just change that to a person of either gender.”

“No, Pietro, no guy would running from you.” Wanda said as they climbed the staircase “You could barf all over him and he would just say ‘Do it again’ “

“Okay that is both incredibly disgusting,” Pietro said as he grabbed the handle to Pepper’s office, “And completely untrue. If I did the things you did I would get dumped too.” Pietro said as he moved to one of the open seats in the circle in front of Pepper’s desk, Darcy and Wanda taking the last spots on the couch.

“Okay, Family!” Pepper announces clapping her hands as she tries to get everyone’s attention. “Shoe’s off.” Everyone in the room slides off their shoes, which is followed by many sighs of relief. “And Breathe. Okay, Lori, let’s start with you.” Lori is one of the few people Pietro cannot stand in the office so he busies himself with doodling on his notepad he pulled from his bag.

“Well, the ''Botox for Beginners'' piece is done. Now, it's a little scary, but mostly upbeat. Now I'm on ''What Your Gyno Won't Tell You,'' which is also pretty scary, but, you know, upbeat. l finished my research on deadly pedicures, about the woman who contracted that fungus from the unsterilized tools. Yeah. It's a terrible story. Although, surprisingly...upbeat!” Pietro groans internally as Lori drones on forever only snapping his head up when Pepper turns to him.

“Pietro! What’s next for How-to with Pietro?” Pietro takes a deep breath.

“Well I’ve been working on something kind of different actually...It’s a political piece...and…”

“Pietro...no. I’m sorry but you work at Composure Magazine. We are fashion, trends, diets, cosmetic surgeries, and salacious gossip, that’s Composure.”

“Okay..but look..”

“Pietro, I get that you are new to this column. When you write something that is a Must-Read, then you can write about what you want. Until then you write about what I want, understood?”

“Yeah.” Pietro says quietly as Pepper moves on.

“Wanda, what have you got?”

“Pepper, I’m sorry, but I wasn’t feeling very well…”

“She got dumped.” Darcy interjected.

“Oh no, Wanda, what a hellish ordeal for you…I must say though you are looking fabulous.” Pepper says leaning back in her chair. “You should write about it.”

“I can’t write about my personal life.” Wanda says meekly playing with the edge of her notepad 

“I understand completely.” Pepper looks around the room. “Who will use Wanda’s personal life for a story?” Lori raises her hand.

“I will.”

“No, no, no. Pepper with all due respect Lori has no business mucking around in my personal life…”  
“I’ll do it.” Pietro says from the back, noticing Wanda’s betrayed look he back tracks a bit. “I’ll...I will sort of do it. You’ll be my inspiration of sorts.”

“For?” Pepper says giving Pietro a quizzical look.

“Look at Wanda, she’s a great girl right? An amazing woman. But she has problems holding onto relationships and doesn’t really know what she is doing wrong.” Pietro says looking around the room. “Which is like a lot of our readers. So I was thinking, I could start to date a guy and then drive him away only using the classic mistakes people like Wanda, make all the time. I’ll keep a diary of it, and it will be a sort of dating ‘how-to’ in reverse. What not to do.”

“Yes, ‘How to lose a guy in 10 days.’ Go.” Pepper says before turning and asking more of the staff about their ideas. Pietro thinks as the meeting finishes and is only roused from his thoughts when the others all stand up. He quickly moves toward Pepper’s desk.

“Hey, wait, Pepper? Why 10 days?”

“5 is too short and we go to press in 11?”

“Ok, alright.” The door opens and two tall, beautiful, extremely intimidating women walk through it.

“Ah yes, here is my 11:00.”

“Pietro , meet Natasha Romanoff and Maria Hill from Coulson Advertising.We’re going to cook up some fabulous tie ins for the fall.”

“Natasha, Maria, This is Pietro Maximoff our resident ‘How-to’ guy.”

“Oh I’ve seen your column Pietro.” Maria says as she holds out a hand. “What are you working on now?”

“Oh, actually…” Pietro says trailing off as he shakes Maria’s hand

“‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’ He’s actually going to start dating a guy, and then drive him away in a week and a half.” Pepper says placing a hand on Pietro’s shoulder 

“Sounds needlessly vicious” Natasha replies with a smirk

“It’s going to be fabulous. Now all he needs to do is go find the lucky guy. Go, go, go.” Pepper says shooing Pietro toward the door.

“It was nice meeting you.” Pietro says over his shoulder as he exits Pepper’s office walking back down to his cube where Darcy and Wanda are sitting on his desk waiting for him.

“Oh, you are never going to pull this off.” Wanda says giving Pietro a sly smirk.

“Watch me. Tonight I’ll hook a guy, tomorrow I’ll pull the switch. Before the 10 days are up I’m going to have this guy running for his life.”

“You’re not going to burn his apartment down or like bite him or anything are you?” Darcy asks as she takes a sip of her water.

“No! I’m going to limit myself to everything people do wrong in relationships. Basically everything guys hate. I’ll be clingy, needy…”

“Yeah.. Oo! Be touchy feely.” Darcy interjects

“Oh, call him in the middle of the night and tell him everything you had to eat that day!” Wanda says laughing

“See? I got this!” Pietro says laughing along with his sister. “Alright now go get some work done so we can leave early and go bar hopping to find the unlucky guy.” Pietro tells the girls as he shoos them out of his space, sitting back into his office chair.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	2. Setting The Targets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Pietro meet, but for what reasons?

Clint stood up from the table at Mullin’s where he had been seated for half an hour. He watched Nat and Maria lead Phil toward the table as he buttoned his suit jacket, smirking at the shocked look on their faces as they saw him. 

“Hello, Clint.” Phil said as he approached. Just as Natasha venomously said “What are you doing here?”

“Phil, I’m here for the meeting. Ladies.” Clint tells them as he points toward the seats.

“But you weren’t invited.” Maria bites out as she takes her seat next to Phil.

“No, but I should’ve been.” Clint says looking directly at Phil as he sits down. “I mean it was my tip. The DeLauer's shopping for a new firm.”

“Yes, it was. But, I have to think about who is best suited within our team to handle this deal Clint.” Phil replies in his normal emotionless tone.

“Yes, sir, and that’s me. I want to handle this pitch.” Clint leans forward against the table in front of them.

“Clint, you sell joe blow better than anyone else in my shop.” Phil places a gentle hand on Nat’s shoulder “But these girls handle luxury better than anyone in the business. We have to put our best foot forward. DeLauer would be our biggest account.”

“Yes, sir, it would be. Annual advertising billings of $5 to 10 million, and I am going to be the man that brings that home for you, Phil.” Phil gives him a look as if to say continue, Clint thinks a moment before taking a deep breath to start his pitch.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pietro is feeling a little tipsy as Wanda pulls them toward their 3rd bar of the night. He had decided he wanted to be a little drunk before they went to the best places so he could have some liquid courage without spending an entire week’s paycheck. Pietro wasn’t entirely sure where exactly they were headed until Darcy ushers him and Wanda into the door of a place called Mullin’s.

“Why this place?” Pietro asks shooting a smirk at Darcy.

“It seems perfect to me.” Wanda tells Pietro, her head near his ear. 

“Mullin’s is the after-work watering hole for the upwardly mobile. Trust me, at least this way you might find a guy who isn’t a total sleezeball.” Darcy replies pulling Pietro and Wanda toward the large bar in the middle.

As they grab their cocktails Pietro glances around the room trying to get a read on any potential candidates. 

“You finally going to choose someone?” Wanda snarks at Pietro as she takes a sip of her martini. 

“Hey, don’t pressure him. He’s perusing.” Darcy interjects.

“Yes, exactly.” Pietro says taking a sip of his drink.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“ Now, to date the diamond industry has always targeted men buying for their female significant others. They’ve sent the message that a woman needs a man to buy her the rock. Alright, they say ‘a diamond is forever’, we say ‘a diamond is for everyone’”

“I like that.” Phil says taking a sip of his bourbon. “Yes.”

“We don’t.” Nat says with a pinched look to her lips.” ‘a diamond is for everyone’ send the message that diamonds are everywhere, which means they are not rare. And if they are not rare, they lose their status. Status is the first reason to buy them in the first place. Which Clint here would understand if he understood women, which he doesn’t.”

“That’s another point I need to make. It’s the 21st century, why are we still only setting our sights on selling diamonds to Women? As a Bisexual man myself I can think of many of my previous male suitors who would love receiving diamonds as much as the women.”

“Now that is a good point.” Phil notes nodding his head a bit.

“To sell a diamond to either a Man or a Woman means making them fall in love. They have to feel giddy, desirous, adventurous, and desperate.” Clint says looking around the room briefly. “Phil, look around the room, most of the people in this bar are looking for just that.

“Exactly, The skills needed to market diamonds are the exact same ones used in making someone fall in love. I’m not talking about lust. People in lust want chocolate. People in love on the other hand, they want diamonds.” Maria says giving Clint a superior look.

“I’m not talking about lust either ladies. I’m talking deep, meaningful, head-over-heels, double sinks, let’s grow old together, L-O-V-E. Look, I’m a lover, I’ve loved my fair share of Men and Women. So believe me when I say I can sell myself to anyone, anywhere, anytime.”

“Make someone fall in love with diamonds, Clint...or you?” Phil says smiling at Clint

“Hmm, Either one?”

“Well that’s cocky.”

“Not cocky, confident.” Clint says leaning back in his chair

“I’d like to see you prove that.” Phil says with a knowing smirk on his face.

“You would?” Natasha turns toward Phil with a shocked look.

“The agency’s co hosting an event for the DeLauer’s at Astor Museum a week from Sunday. Do you think you could make someone fall in love with you by then?” Phil says directing his attention only on Clint.

“10 days?” 

“Anyone, anywhere, anytime?”

“Any single, available, straight woman or gay man...yes.”

“I’m not trying to trick you Clint. We’ll even pick someone right here, right now, in this bar, then you can decide.” Everyone at the table occupies themselves looking around the room scoping out the potential.

“Ooh, how bout that blonde babe in the leopard print?” Clint turns his head toward Natasha’s gaze to an obviously above middle aged woman in a skin tight dress, dear god that isn’t a pretty sight.

“Be nice, Nat.” Clint says giving her a raised eyebrow.

“Him.” Maria says looking toward the bar.

“Him who?” Clint says turning his head trying to decide who Maria means.

“Him, in the tight blue dress shirt. Platinum blonde curly hair. Gorgeous smile.” The crowd parts just right for Clint’s eyes to fall on what must be one of the most attractive guys he has ever seen. His mouth is thrown open in a laugh as he leans against the bar clutching a martini glass. Clint thinks he might enjoy this little endeavor after all.

“Him? Done.” Clint turns back to the table.

“What?” Nat asks, clearly she hadn’t seen the guy Maria said.

“Done.” Clint repeats looking at Phil.

“Done.” Phil says reaching out a shaking Clint’s hand.

“Okay, you’re on. But here’s the deal, I win this bet, the pitch is mine.”

“Agreed,”

“Phil?” Natasha looks at him concerned

“Agreed.” Phil says forcefully. “You come to that party with someone who is really in love with you, you can make the pitch to the DeLauer's.”

“But, Phil!” 

“I’ve made up my mind.”

“To the DeLauer's” Clint says holding up his glass with a smile.

“To the DeLauer's.” Phil clinks his glass against Clint’s

“Cheers” Everyone around the table says as they tip their glasses back, downing their drinks.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pietro smiles as he takes a sip of his drink leaning into Wanda’s shoulder as he looks across the bar.

“Okay, see the guy next to the guy in the horrible green shirt that I would never date?” Pietro points Wanda’s gaze across the bar.

“Hmmm, very cute!” Wanda says as she notices the business man with dark hair.

“Here I go.” Pietro downs the rest of his martini and moves around the Bar, moving into the open space next to the guy and hailing a bartender before turning to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Pietro, you seem like you could use someone to talk to.” He puts his best smile on leaning subtly toward him.

“Uh, Kevin.” The guy holds out his hand and he shakes it. “So, do you live in New York?”

“Yeah, I actually work for a magazine here.”

“Ah I’m here on vacation.”

“Ah, are you enjoying New York so far?”

“Oh yes, my husband and I love New York!” Pietro tries to not let his face fall visibly as he watches a gorgeous man walk up beside them. “Honey! This is Pietro.” Pietro smiles and shakes the other man’s hand before grabbing his drink as the bartender hands it to him and walking away with a rushed goodbye. He notices Wanda and Darcy looking at him quizzically and he holds up his left hand mouthing ‘married’ at them across the bar as he runs straight into a broad chest, a pair of muscular arms keeping him from toppling over.

“Hi.” The stranger says, Pietro tries not to smile just at the sound of his voice as he looks up at his face. He has a strong jawline, full lips which Pietro is definitely not imagining kissing, definitely not, and beautiful blue-green-gray eyes. Pietro smiles as he looks at this mystery man.

“Hi.”

“Clint Barton.” He holds out his hand and Pietro shakes it feeling the rough callouses on his hands.

“Pietro Maximoff.”

“Cute.” 

“Thank you.”

“I meant your name.”

“Well thank you twice.” Pietro says smiling genuinely at Clint “Gay?”

“Bi.”

“Unattached?”

“Currently.”

“Likewise.”

“Surprising.” Clint smiles at Pietro placing a hand on his arm. “Psycho?”

“Rarely.”

“Hmmm, Interested?”

“Perhaps.” Pietro says smirking

“Hungry?”

“Starving.” 

“Leaving.” Clint says moving his hand to Pietro’s lower back to usher him toward the door.

“Right now?”

“Mhmm.” 

“Okay, just give me a second to grab my bag.” 

“I’ll meet you by the door.” Pietro smiles at Clint again before heading over toward Wanda and Darcy, he taps them on the shoulders before reaching to grab his leather book bag from where he had left it near Wanda.

“I think I got one.” He says smiling at them.

“I thought he was married?” Wanda asks concerned.

“No, not him! Look over by the door. Tall, broad shoulders, gorgeous eyes.” 

“Hmm he’s cute.” Darcy says sipping on her drink.

“I’m going to go check out to see if this one's a keeper.”

“And if he is?” Wanda asks

“Well then tomorrow…”

“We’ll flip the switch!” Darcy says conspiratorily 

“Doing this for you.” Pietro says grabbing his sister’s hand as he starts to move away.

“Well good luck, be safe!” Darcy yells.

“Call me!” Wanda yells after.

Pietro smirks at them as he throws a mock salute before heading to the doorway. Clint offers him a hand and he takes it as Clint leads him out onto the sidewalk. 

“Just over here.” Clint says pulling him over to a black motorcycle.

“Oh.” Pietro stops a few feet away as Clint opens the back compartment pulling out an extra helmet.

“You get to wear the goofy-looking helmet.”

“This won’t look goofy on me.” Pietro says as he pulls the helmet onto his head turning to look at Clint.

“Looks goofy on almost everyone...hmm but look at you.” Clint says snapping the chin strap “Pretty damn cute.”

Clint pulls on his own helmet and straddles the bike, offering his hand and helping Pietro climb behind him. Pietro feels the heat from Clint’s body as he gets settled behind him.

“There you go.” Clint says as Pietro wraps his arms around Clint’s middle pressing himself against his back. “You ready Pietro?”

“Are you ready Clint?” Pietro snarks into Clint’s ear before Clint takes off like a bullet, Pietro tightening his arms around Clint. He feels Clint laugh, his stomach moving and Pietro smiles,, this is going to be easy.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Natasha smiles at Phil as he leaves their table. She downs the rest of her vodka and turns to Maria once he is out of earshot.

“What the hell Maria?” Natasha practically shouts at her. “Why didn’t you fight him on that?”

“You don’t recognize him?” Maria says pointing toward Clint, whom has his hand on someone else’s arm. Pietro Maximoff’s arm. Natasha thinks a moment before turning to Maria a sly grin on her face.

“Nicely played there.” 

“Exactly.” Maria says sipping her martini as they watch Clint flirt shamelessly with Pietro.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	3. Dates and Trickery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long to post. I've been super busy with work but I will try to keep up with this. Thanks for all your kudos and love!

Pietro looked up through his lashes at Clint, who was sitting across from him, letting his lips fall into a smirk. The pair were on their 2nd bottle of wine and had just barely gotten their dinner. Pietro ate a small bite as Clint sipped from his glass. He watched as Clint set it back on the table and bowed his head slightly nodding toward Pietro’s food.

“So what do you think?” 

“About the food?” Pietro smiled playfully at Clint “Or you?”

“Both.” Clint answered quickly a challenging tone to his voice.

“Well, this is delicious.” Pietro said moving a bit of his pasta with his fork. “And I’m still deciding.”

“Hmm, anything I can do to help?” Clint asked playfully.

“Yeah, actually, you could answer some questions for me.” Pietro said placing his fork beside his bowl.

“‘Some’ indefinite.” Clint said taking another sip of his wine, looking at Pietro over the rim. “I’ll give you three.”

“What do you do for a living?” 

“I’m in advertising,” Clint replies while he places his glass down carefully. “I work mostly with alcoholic beverages, sports equipment companies, but I am trying to make a break into the jewelry industry right now.”

“Hmmm.” Pietro grabs his glass taking a sip before continuing. “Saving the world one keg party at a time?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Clint says with a laugh. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Have I seen your work?”

“I work at Composure.”

“Fastest growing women’s magazine in the country.” Clint turns his head to the side slightly, watching as Pietro’s smile widens.

“I’m impressed.”

“Saving the world one shop-a-holic at a time?” Clint asks playfully laughing at the affronted look Pietro gives him.

“Hey, alright.” Pietro says nodding at Clint. “Look here sparky. I have a master’s degree in Journalism from Columbia. My boss loves me, and if I do it her way for awhile, I can write about whatever I want.”

“Like shoes?” Clint snarks at Pietro.

“No.” 

“No.” Clint gives Pietro a soft smile.

“Like Alcoholic beverages…” Pietro says smirking at Clint. “Or sporting goods.”

“Touche, very nice.” Clint says huffing out a laugh. “So you think you have me all figured out don’t you.”

“Almost.”

“Well, you still have one more question.” Clint says looking straight at Pietro. “Shoot.”

“True or false:” Pietro pauses leveling Clint with his eyes. “ All’s fair in love and war.”

“True.” Clint says grabbing his glass to take a sip.

“Good answer.” Pietro says grabbing his and leaning it toward Clint’s.

“Good Question.” Clint says as he clinks his glass against Pietro’s before taking a sip. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clint slid his key into the slot of his door as he felt Pietro’s hand in his, warm, long fingers tangled with his own. He swept the door open and ushered Pietro through the threshold gesturing toward his apartment.

“Welcome.” He watched as Pietro glanced around the open living area one hand clutched around the leather strap of the book bag on his shoulder. Pietro ran his fingers across a photo on Clint’s table and turned to smile at him.

“Nice place.” 

“Thank you.”

“Very…” Pietro trailed off looking around the dimly lit space “Tidy.”

“Can I get you a beer?” Clint asked as he headed toward his small kitchen.

“Sure.” Pietro glanced around awkwardly “Can I use your restroom?” 

“Of course.” Clint smiled at Pietro pointing toward the small staircase “It’s up the stairs through the bedroom.”

“Thanks.” Pietro smiled as Clint turned back toward the kitchen and he walked up the stairs through a very well kept bedroom, locking the bathroom door behind himself. Pietro slid his phone out of his pocket and dialed Wanda, praying that she was still awake.

“Hello?” She answered on the third ring.

“Hey sis.” Pietro said trying to sound casual.

“Pietro?” Wanda said sleepily, crap he had woken her up.

“So, I may or may not be in his apartment right now.”

“Oh my god, Pietro!” Pietro rolled his eyes looking at himself in the mirror in front of him and trying to moves his unruly curls back into their place.

“I’m not going to sleep with him.”

“Liar.”

“No, I can practice some self control.” Pietro paused before adding “ Unlike some people I know.”

“That hurts...kind of.”

“I’m just going to...dangle the bait.” Pietro said unbuttoning the top two buttons on his shirt.

“The bait? What bait?”

“I’m the bait Wanda.”

“Oh….”

“Yeah.” Pietro could hear Clint milling about, heading toward the stairs so Pietro decided to cut off Wanda’s next thought. “Ok I can’t talk, I have to go.”

“Call me later you slut!” Wanda yelled back before hanging up. Pietro shook his head at his sister’s antics before sliding his phone back into his pocket and giving himself one last glance in the mirror. He opened the door to find Clint sitting on the dresser across from his bed. Clint held out a bottle for Pietro and he walked and grabbed it.

“For you.”

“Thanks.” Pietro said taking a swig from the brown glass bottle. He sat down next to Clint on the dresser their thighs aligned with one another. Clint moved his hand up and cupped Pietro’s jaw, looking down at Pietro’s lips before looking into his eyes. Pietro wasn’t quite sure who moved first but suddenly Clint’s mouth was sliding across his gently, nice and slow. 

Pietro let his hands wind themselves around Clint’s neck, feeling himself get lost in the kiss. He felt as Clint’s tongue swiped across his lower lip, and he opened his mouth letting his tongue twirl with Clint’s. Pietro let out a small breathy moan as he felt Clint’s arm wrap around his back pulling their bodies closer together. Pietro pulled back, feeling Clint chase him slightly.

“Hey, hey. Let’s not go too fast, okay?” Pietro said quietly as Clint gave him more kisses.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” Pietro tried to calm his breathing and clear his head, but was distracted by the feel of Clint’s mouth on his.He felt as Clint’s hand pulled at his shirt, placing it underneath finding bare skin. Pietro was surprised when it was Clint who pulled back this time.

“We’re moving too fast.”

“I...you’re right.” Pietro let himself be pulled in for another kiss before putting more distance between himself and Clint. “It’s too fast.” Clint moved his head in and kissed Pietro again, feeling as Pietro’s hands pushed him back “I want you to respect me.”

“I do.”

“Okay.” Pietro leaned in and kissed Clint again moving his hand over his muscular arm and down his chest. Clint pulled back again after a few minutes. 

“And I want your respect.”

“I respect you for respecting me.”

“And I respect that.”

“Good.” Pietro watched as Clint stood, offering his hand and pulling Pietro up. “I should probably go yeah.” Pietro said as Clint followed him downstairs holding open the door. Pietro walked over, purposefully leaving his bag on the chair. He leaned in a gave Clint one last kiss as he walked into the hall, smiling at Clint as he walked into the elevator. As he walked into the street he smirked to himself, this was going to be so easy. 

“Goodnight, Pietro Maximoff!” Pietro turned suddenly at the sound to wave a Clint from his fire escape. A bright smile on his face. On the balcony Clint was smiling too as he said to himself “Oh you are already falling in love with me.”

Pietro smiled as he waved chuckling as he said to himself “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.” Pietro blew Clint a kiss before he turned and walked toward the subway.   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clint smiled to himself as he exited the elevator the next morning, waving at the girl at the front desk cheerfully as he made his way to his office that he shared with Bucky. He tapped Steve on the head as he walked past, almost making him fall out of his chair, and walked to his desk. He heard Bucky get up from his chair as he set his bags down on the top of his desk. 

“Of all the guys Nat and Maria could’ve thrown at me, this one is amazing.” Clint said turning to look at Bucky and Steve where they stood near the door. “ Hanging out with him for 10 days is going to be a breeze.”

“Right, since it’s only 9 days longer than you’ve spent with anyone else?” Bucky asked throwing the small inflatable basketball they had in their office at his head, which he caught with one hand.

“That’s why I didn’t go for the gold immediately.” Clint said throwing the ball through the hoop on the wall easily.

“Ah, right.” Bucky said sarcastically.

“I’m taking my time.” Clint said walking back over toward his office chair. “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

“10 days is a marathon?” Bucky asked looking to Steve for support, who just shook his head.

“Ok, so maybe not a marathon,” Clint said sitting down in his chair. “More like a 500-meter hurdle. The point is, he’s already on the ropes guys.”

“That is a lot of sports analogies.” Steve said looking at Clint as he walked to one side of his desk. “Wait, who’s bag is this?” Steve said pointing at Pietro’s bookbag “Did you get a new bag? Because this one isn’t really your style Barton.” Steve said pulling at the worn strap. Clint grabbed it quickly setting it back on his desk.

“It’s Pietro’s.” Bucky and Steve both smiled at him conspiratorily.

“Have you looked inside?” Bucky said picking up a pen and poking at the flap of the bag.

“No.”

“Do you have an ethical problem with going through a man’s bag?” Bucky asked looking over a Clint.

“Well, yeah, I guess I do.” Clint said looking at the bag 

“Well, I mean, it’s just got to be like his computer right?” Steve asked a concerned look on his face.

“I mean, he probably has secrets in there. Secrets that he probably wants to keep secret. I mean who knows what dark stuff there is inside this bag?” Clint asked moving the strap slightly.

“Unless he left it just to ensure the next-day call back?” Bucky asked moving the pen closer to opening the flap of the bag. 

“Well, he does seem like quite the clever guy.” Clint said looking at the bag suspiciously. Bucky then hit the bag causing the contents to spill onto the surface of Clint’s desk. 

“Oh, shit, we’ve got to clean that up.” Bucky said smirking as he started looking through the contents. He placed the laptop bag into the bag, moving onto the pile of pens, a pack of gum, a small notepad,a faded leather wallet, and an envelope, which he handed to Clint.

“Hmmm, what do we have here?” Clint said sliding the envelope open carefully, pulling out two thick, shiny pieces of paper. “Knicks tickets….” Clint said breathlessly as he held them out. “For tonight’s game!” He said holding them extremely close to Bucky’s face. “Seems like I need to send Pietro a little present…” Clint trailed off as he shooed Bucky out of his desk chair, grabbing his phone and dialling.   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pietro typed out the last few sentences to the article he had been finishing before taking a giant sip of his tea and leaning back in his chair looking over at Wanda. Her hair was in a messy braid and the messy array of her hair didn’t compare to the messiness that was currently her desk, Pietro shook his head and wondered how on earth she managed to get anything done just as Darcy patted him on the shoulder.

“Hey Piet, these were sitting at the front desk for you.” Darcy said holding out a huge vase of red roses. Pietro made grabby hands and Darcy set them on the desk in front of him.

“Oh, Wow! Look at those.” Pietro said turning a waxy flower through his fingers, just as Wanda got up from her desk to come see.

“Oh! Who are those for?”

“Pietro,” Darcy said watching Pietro play with a petal. “Wait…” She pulls out the small white card in the back “ ‘12 times more beautiful than a dozen roses.’ Catchy.” She said handing the card over to Pietro.

“The guy is in advertising.” Pietro said setting the card down on the table. “He can’t really help it.”

“So does this mean he’s hooked?” Wanda asks leaning against the wall of Pietro’s cubical. 

“This means he found the knicks tickets.” Pietro says smiling at the girls in front of him.

“You left the tickets in your bag?”

“Mhmm.” 

“Wow, you are on a whole different level.” Darcy said as she leaned back, sitting on the edge of Pietro’s desk. Just as she finished her sentence Pietro’s phone started ringing from where it sat beside his computer. “Here you go.” Darcy said as she picked it up and handed it to Pietro.

“Hello?”

“Hey, there handsome.” Pietro heard Clint say through the phone.

“Guess what? I got a really embarrassing display of red roses here.” Pietro said smirking

“Well, you are welcome. Listen I had a really great time last night.” Clint paused before continuing. “I have your bag.”

“Ah I know.” Pietro said trying to hide the smirk in his tone “I can’t believe I left it at your place.”

“Well you must need it back. What with all the cash and credit cards...oh and these knicks tickets.” Pietro gave himself a mental pat on the back.

“Sounds like you’ve been peeking through my bag there Clint.”

“Oh, absolutely not. Bucky, my friend here at the office, he’s an oaf” Pietro swears he hears someone hit something in the background “He knocked it off my desk.” Pietro then hears a more defined hit and then another voice.

“Ow, right. I’m really clumsy, sorry.” 

“Well, I’m sorry though. I’m going to the game with someone else.”

“Not anymore. Besides, you think you left your bag at my place on accident. Nope, you are subconsciously dying to the take me to that game. Denying your subconscious desires is extremely hazardous to your health.”

“Does that psycho babble really work on anybody?” 

“You tell me.” Pietro looked up at Wanda and Darcy who were shaking their heads at him and rolling their eyes.

“Alright meet me at the 5th avenue entrance. 7:00. Don’t be late.” Pietro said nodding at his sister.

“You got it, bye sweetheart.”

“Bye.” Pietro hung up the phone and looked back and forth between Darcy and Wanda. “And that’s how it’s done.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	4. Games of the Literal and Figurative Variety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! I know, it's been literally a million years since I wrote anything for this, but I'm back to working on it! Hoping to have more done before I start my semester next week. But here is at least another chapter! Your comments are what keep me going even after so long, and your kudos. Love you guys so much!

Chapter 4

“Foul on number 17, Alan Houston!” the commentator’s voice echoed through the speakers and into the roaring stadium.

“Bullshit! Come on ref!” Pietro shouted holding his hand out as he looked between the court below them and Clint standing next to him.

“Hey, if you’re gonna call it call it both ways!” Clint shouted watching the players run across the court.

“Oh, you’re soft man!” Pietro yells pointing at the ref still. “You were soft last year, and you’re still soft!” Pietro smiles at Clint as the Knicks take their time out.

“Ok, take your five, take your five.” Clint says clapping as everyone takes a seat, sitting back to wait for the game to start up again.

Pietro laughs as they start the ‘Kiss Cam’, playing dumb cartoons on the jumbotron before pointing the camera at an unsuspecting couple. He smiles as it passes from couple to couple, until he sees himself and Clint up there, Clint’s arm wrapped around Pietro behind his seat.  
“Hey! It’s us!” Clint shouts waving and looking over at Pietro. Pietro smirks pointing to his cheek and laughing as Clint turns his head and places his lips on Pietro’s. Pietro will admit, he kinda got lost in space for a second, before Clint pulls back to the section around them cheering.  
The game starts up again with time dwindling down quickly. Pietro decides now is the time to ‘flip the switch’. Looking up at the clock he leans over to talk into Clint’s ear.

“Hey, Clint? I’m really thirsty!” Pietro shouts.

“Yeah, yeah, ok.” Clint says clearly not paying attention.

“Clint could you go get me a soda?” Pietro says Clint turning to him.

“There’s a minute in 9 left in the game!” Clint says pointing to the court. “I’ll get it after the game!”

“Well, I can go.” Pietro says “I’m really parched.” He moves to leave the row as Clint stops him.

“I can go.” Clint quickly rushes out the aisle. “What do you want?”

“Coke, no ice.” Pietro calls after him. “Make sure there’s no ice Clint!”

As soon as Clint leaves Pietro turns his attention back onto the game, yelling a cheering along with those around him.  
“Lawrence Funderburke. Here’s Sprewell with the fake. Gets the step on Christie, look at that crossover…behind the three-point line, Fires!”  
“Oh come on!” Pietro shouts as he sees Clint making his way down the steps, holding a the glass in his hand. “Come on! Score!” Pietro shouts as Clint hands him the drink.

“Come on baby, drive into the net!” Clint says turning to watch the game.

“Right there, right there!” Pietro says taking a sip of the drink, he turns to Clint. “Clint! It’s not diet!”

“Huh? What?”

“It’s not diet!” Pietro says pleading “Please, I’m so thirsty!”

Clint sighs, saying ok as he walks back up the stairs, Pietro smiling after him before turning to watch the game again.

“Shoot it!” Pietro shouts

“Sprewell for the win!” The announcer yells, the entire crowd going insane as the Knicks win the game. “It’s all over! The Knicks have defeated the Kings in the final seconds of the game!”  
__________________________________________________________________________

Pietro walks with his hand in Clint’s arm as the exit the stadium onto the street. He holds the diet coke in his other hand. He can tell that Clint is tense, clearly mad from missing the end of the game.

“I’ve never seen a more exciting game ending play.” Pietro says smiling as Clint leads them toward the line of waiting taxis.

“Wow, well, neither have I.” Clint says snarkily.

“It’s too bad you missed it.” Pietro said smiling to himself as he opened the door to the taxi next to him.

“Yeah, too bad.” Clint said as Pietro turned in the car door to face him.

“So, you as nice as you seem Clint Barton?” Pietro smirks at Clint leaning in for a quick kiss.

“No.” Clint says smirking back as he presses his lips against Pietro’s briefly.

“Good. Neither am I.” Pietro says as he gets into the car, leaning forward to tell his address to the cab driver.

“See you later.” Clint said smiling as the car drove off, his face dropping into annoyed expression as soon as he was out of sight.  
_________________________________________________________________________

Clint leans back in his office chair as Phil walks into the room holding a stack of ad mockups. These Wednesday morning meetings always annoyed the crap out of him. It was basically just an hour of Nat and Maria sucking up to Phil, while degrading the work that the guys had done on their most recent project.

“Horseshit!” Phil said dropping the first mock-up in front of Maria as he moved around the table.

“Horseshit, horseshit, horseshit!” Phil exclaims as he hands out the rest of the mock-ups. Phil glares down at his, admittedly, bad mock-up for a new gatorade ad. “We have got to do much better than this if we are going to comp-”

“Excuse me sir?” Angie, the girl who sits at the front desk pokes her head in.

“What?!” Phil looks over exasperated.

“There’s a call for Mr. Barton.”

“Can you take a message, Angie?” Clint says turning to look at the woman in the doorway.

“It’s Pietro, sir.” Clint looks up at his boss questioningly

“Make it quick.” Phil says as Clint heads over to the phone in the corner of the conference room.

“I will sir.”

“It’s line two, Mr. Barton.”

“Thanks” Clint says as he watches Angie walk back to her desk. He picks up the handset placing it to his ear. “Hello?”

“It’s Me!” Pietro’s voice echoes down the receiver.

“Hey, listen I’m in a meeting right now..” Clint says looking toward Phil “Can I call you back in a minute?”

“I miss you.” Pietro says sweetly

“Well you know what? I miss you too.” Clint winks at Maria and Nat, smirking. “You busy tonight?”

“Uh, no. I’m not busy.” Pietro replies.

“Well, why don’t we catch a movie or something?”

“A movie? My choice?” Pietro asks

“Your choice.” Clint notices Phil tapping on his watch.

“Oh I’m so excited!”

“Ok, well I’ll call you later.” Clint says sweetly.

“Bye!”

“Bye.” Clint hangs up, sitting back down and preening at the glares he is receiving from Nat.  
____________________________________________________________________________

Pietro leaned back into the cushy movie seat, gripping the small popcorn bag that Clint had bought for him. He had decided to bring Clint to a showing of 10 Things I Hate About You, one because it is one of his favorite movies, and two, because ‘chick flicks’ are still a sexist tell of asshole guys everywhere. What do guys have against romantic movies? Do they hate love and want to be alone forever? Pietro rolled his eyes in his head as he turned his attention back to the movie.

“God, I love Heath Ledger.” Pietro whispered to Clint, leaning against his arm to get close to his ear. “This is one of my favorite films of all time.”

“Yeah, me too.” Clint said grabbing some popcorn.

Pietro leaned back a bit at that, slightly surprised. He obviously needed to step up his game, or this was just going to be a lovely date.

“What are you thinking about?” Pietro said leaning a little closer to Clint.

“Nothing, I’m watching the movie.”

“Well, yeah. But what’s on your mind?” Pietro says ignoring the loud ‘SHHH’ from someone behind them.

“I like this movie.” Clint said with a shrug eyes locked on the screen.

“So I just supposed your mind is a complete blank then?” Pietro asks with false anger “Who are they?” Pietro whisper yells, getting another loud

‘Shhh’.

“Who’s who?” Clint asks, turning his head briefly, clearly confused.

“This other person you’re thinking about.”

“Can’t hear the movie.” A guy behind interjected.

“I’m not thinking about someone else!” Clint defended, clearly looking confused.

“You can’t watch Heath Ledger for two hours-” Another loud ‘Shhh’ “And not be thinking about someone else!” Pietro watches as Clint looks over at him like he’s insane, Pietro smiling to himself in his head.

“Uhhh..” Clint’s look changes, “You know what I’m thinking about?” Clint smiles taking Pietro’s hand. “I’m thinking about how damn beautiful you are.” Clint points towards the screen. “C’mon, let’s watch the movie, it’s good.”

“Awww, Clint.” Pietro leans his head onto Clint’s shoulder. “Oh, Sweetie! I love sharing this with you!”

“Can’t hear, and Can’t see.” The guy behind them noted. Pietro turned harshly looking back.

“If you don’t shut up, my boyfriend over here is going to come back there and pummel your ass!”

“Put a muzzle on your boy toy here before you take him out in public next time!” The guy shouts

“What?” Clint stands and looks at the guy.

“Do something about…”The guy interjects.

“You, outside now.” Clint says pulling Pietro out of the aisle with him, amidst protests from other watching the movie.

Pietro watches as the guy gets up from his seat. He’s about two heads taller than Clint and himself, and probably has about 100 pounds on either of them. They all head into the hall and Clint turns to talk with the guy.

“I mean, have a little class alright? You wanna talk like that to me? We can work it out.” Clint says calmly, Pietro behind him. “But not to him, all right?”

“Clint...he’s huge.” Pietro says trying to pull Clint away.

“I got it, I’m not looking to get into a fight with the guy, all right?” Clint says turning to talk to Pietro. “He owes you an apology.” Neither Pietro, nor Clint notice the guy pull back his arm until he punches Clint hard in the face. Pietro grabs Clint as he slides back towards the wall behind them.

“Now, I’m going to go back inside and watch 10 Things I Hate About You.” The Man says as he starts walking away. “Nobody screw with me!”

“Son of a bitch.” Clint groans holding his cheek. Pietro holds his head, awkwardly cradling Clint against his thighs.

“Oh, Clint..” Pietro says in a worried tone, feeling Clint’s hands gripping at his lower back. “Are you ok?”

“Ow..” Clint groans.

“Clint!”

“Yes?” Clint looks up barely.

“Maybe we should get you to a hospital.” Pietro says concerned

“No i’m Fine!”

“No, you could have a concussion…” Pietro says clearly, trying to move to grab his phone out of his pocket.

“No, could you hold still?” Clint says wincing slightly.

“Oh, sorry!” Pietro notices the hand slipping onto his backside as Clint grabs a handful.

“Oh, I’m starting to feel much better.” Clint says smirking.

“Clint! Oh my god!” Pietro says pushing Clint onto the floor. “You’re fine!”

Pietro rolls his eyes as Clint laughs looking up completely not ashamed. Pietro reaches a hand down to help Clint up.

“Ok, come on Rocky, I know a good pizza place around the block.” Pietro says, momentarily forgetting that he isn’t supposed to be impressing the man next to him, he’s supposed to be driving him crazy. But, hey, Clint already got punched for him tonight, so it probably couldn’t get much worse.

Clint let his fingers slip through Pietro’s as they walked down the semi-busy street towards the restaurant. Pietro smiled slightly, letting himself just enjoy it for a moment. It had been too long since he’d had anything like this. Article be damned for the rest of the night, Pietro thought, he was just going to enjoy the rest of it.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Clint rolled his eyes as he walked back from grabbing lunch with Bucky, who was turning his head to inspect the, rather impressive, black eye forming under his eye.

“Hey, don’t feel bad.” Bucky said laughing “If I had a nickel for everytime I got into a fist fight during a chick flick…” Bucky was laughing so hard he had to stop walking.

“Uh huh...right.” Clint said rolling his eyes. “Look, it really wasn’t that bad.”

“Really?” Bucky said a tad incredulously.

“No. I mean the getting punched in the face part sucked…”

“Well…”

“But, the getting taken care of after the punch? It was nice.” Clint said smiling.

“Ah yes, Florence Nightingale Syndrome!” Bucky said rolling his eyes as they crossed the street to their building. “You want me to tape the game for you tonight?”

“No need, my friend.” Clint smiled. “I will be watching the game from the comfort of my own home this evening.”

“How’d you swing that?” Bucky asked, swiping his card to get past security.

“Everyone loves a man who can cook right?” Clint says smirking.

“You’re making the lamb aren’t you!” Bucky says as he presses the elevator button.

“Voila!” Clint kissed his fingers in a bad Italian impression as they stepped inside the doors.

“Bringing out the big guns.” Bucky said smiling as the doors to the elevator closed.  
___________________________________________________________________________

Pietro laughed as he pulled the to go containers out of the bag, handing them to Darcy and Wanda, before grabbing his burger from the bag and leaning back in his chair. He took a bite before pulling back the bun and groaning.

“Why do they always forget my bacon?” He asked taking another bite.

“I can’t believe you got that guy knocked out!” Wanda said sitting on Pietro’s desk, her walnut salad open on her lap.

“Only for a few seconds.” Pietro said laughing “He was the most adorable, unconscious man ever.” Pietro took another bite. “Mm-hmm.”

“Are you dating him? Or contemplating adoption?” Darcy laughed poking her fork through her pasta salad.

Pietro rolled his eyes taking a huge bite, just as Pepper walked up to his desk.

“Pietro! I am loving your notes for this piece!” Pepper said smiling, her hair perfectly tucked behind her ear.

“Thanks, Pepper.” Pietro said holding a hand in front of his mouth to disguise how full it was of food.

“When are you seeing him again?” She asked leaning against Pietro’s cube.

“Tonight.” Pietro said around his food. “He’s making me dinner.”

“Marvelous. I’ve got a good feeling about this one!” Pepper smiled as she walked away.

“Me too!” Pietro said as he finally finished chewing and swallowed. “I hate it when she pops her head in like that.”

“I’ve never noticed it.” Wanda says as Pepper’s head pops back in.

“I heard that.” She smiles as she starts walking again. “And Pietro?”

“Yes, Pepper?” Pietro said.

“Take smaller bites tonight.” she said reproachfully as Pietro turned red.

“I know, it’s disgusting! Can barely eat over here.” Darcy said nudging his arm playfully. Pietro just rolled his eyes and took another bite of his burger.  
__________________________________________________________________________

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at sergeantjamesbbarns on tumblr <3


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